Surgery Survivor Note: VERY long and VERY graphic, not for the faint of heart

I should get a T-shirt.
I had my gallbladder removed on Sept. 11th (not a good thing for my apprehensions, especially since the procedure was on a military base...nothing happened (obviously).
So... I started the morning with blood work and x-rays, I was in pretty high spirits, mostly because I was REALLY done with being in pain. How naive I was, the pain was just beginning.
I woke up after the two and a half hour procedure in the recovery room. The first thing I remember was that I was coughing, apparently they had just pulled the tube out of my throat, but luckily I don't remember that part. The first thing I wanted to know was "how many holes are there?" I have no idea why this seemed like the most important question to ask at the time, but it was. The nurses in recovery were very kind. (There are four, if you are as curious as I was, one in the center of my abdomen, just under the breast bone, two more to the right of that one and one in my belly button).
I was wheeled into a room some time later (can't remember the transfer at all).
It was then that I wanted nothing more than to see my husband. He came in and had a hard time looking at me for a few minutes. I suppose it was difficult for him to see me in pain.
But seeing him made me feel much better. I was not in much pain at all, though my throat hurt pretty badly and I couldn't talk much. The inside of my mouth was torn up pretty badly from the breathing tube too.
Then my own personal hell began and did not end until four days ago.
It started with a nurse coming in and telling me I HAD to walk across the room and go to the restroom before I was allowed to go home. No problem right? OH HOLY HELL IT HURT. Sitting up was the 2nd closest thing to dying that I have ever experienced (this comes from a woman who has had kidney stones, twice). But I made it across the room and into the bathroom with minimal help.
I went home at 4pm.
There was nothing but intense pain and nausea from this point on. On Thursday (the 13th) I started having some issues... not to go into too much detail but, things were not exactly moving as they should have been through my system (truthfully, they were not moving at all). So it was back to the ER. We spent 12 hours in the ER, they did scans, blood work, poked me until I nearly punched a doctor in the face and finally decided that I had to be admitted to the hospital.
I was in so much pain as to be nearly delirious that the words "barium enema" did not even register in my bran. OK, now if you have not heard of this little procedure than you will have to research it on your own, needless to say it is highly, highly unpleasant, and that is for someone who did NOT just have abdominal surgery.
Now this experience was the most painful thing I have ever and hope will ever experience in my life. I screamed, cried, began hyperventilating and begged for mercy. I was forced to lay in my side where just two days earlier my very inflamed gallbladder had resided while being filled with gallons of unpleasantness. The memory alone is enough to make me want to vomit.
Well, bodily functions returned, some more unpleasantness as well, but I shall spare you that.
I was supposed to go home that evening, but I was very nauseated and in massive amounts of pain as well as being very dizzy. I ended up staying in the hospital until Sunday morning (the 16th). I hope to never again have to be in a hospital, it is as bad as people say it is.
So... lots of pain and an extended recovery followed. It is now 18 days later and I feel better than I have in months. My scars are a little icky but I earned them, and thus am proud.
Future:
The Law School Admissions Test is on Saturday. I am very, very nervous but so very happy that it will be over soon. My husband's friend (the rocket scientist) is taking the test with me (just for fun, and to show up his lawyer-wife). My entire future depends on my score (and no I am not exaggerating, just ask an attorney). So wish me luck!!

A Little Relief

I have found a little relief from pain. YOGA! I was amazed that I could actually do the moves with as much pain as I am in. But within 25 minutes of finishing a half hour "workout" I felt tons better. I have now done three workouts in three days and feel amazing. OK, not amazing but better than I have for weeks, possibly months. I doubted the ability of the exercises to help, but I doubt no longer. So not only am I doing something that it great for my body I am also doing something great for my mind, relieving constant pain (which sounds like a benefit for the body but is really one for the mind, if you suffer from any chronic pain, you understand what I mean).
I have also started using something called the Miracle Ball Method. They are just these little squishy balls that you place under different parts of your body and they help to relieve pain and reshape muscles. I have only done it once but it helped a lot with the back pain that my inflamed gallbladder causes. I have to give credit to my mom for this one.
I highly recommend to anyone to try yoga or the Miracle Ball Method.
These treatments have not "cured" me but they have certainly made it so I can sit through a 2 hour class without crying or getting nauseated from pain.
I have my surgery consultation next Monday and will update when I know more.

First day of my senior year of college was successful! I am excited about the quarter. Not so excited about LSATs in 3 weeks but what can you do.

All I know is pain

I am anxiously awaiting my gallbladder surgery. I have called numerous times and no one will listen to me, I need it NOW. But I have to wait until Sept. 10th to have my consult with the surgeon. I am in so much pain. I have no idea how I am going to make it through this quarter. And to add icing to the cake of crap I have the Law School Admissions Test in less than a month. UGHHH. This is the most important test of my life and I will probably be crying in pain through most of it. If the surgeon will let me have the surgery the same week as the consult I am going to take it. I may miss a week of school but I should (emphasis on should) be recovered from it enough to sit through a 5 hour test. I don't understand why everything has to happen at the same time. I have had two weeks off of school when I could have been recovering but noooo. Military insurance is great in so many ways (like it is free) but bad in others (like everything must be done on their time schedule and not yours). The good news is I am using the hell out of the free emergency room. Had another visit there on Saturday. Begged an pleaded for surgery, nearly passing out from pain and still nothing. Sitting hurts, which is going to make classes a barrel of monkeys. I am very glad that school starts on Tuesday though, I need a distraction from myself.

Positive Things:

1.) Maya was spayed on Tuesday and is recovering beautifully. She wants so bad to run and jump but I have to stop her because she could tear her stitches. She is my little angel, I don't know what I would do without her comfort all of these hours I am alone.
2.) Adam finishes his last graduate class today. From here on out it is nothing but thesis work. Which means these 14 hour work days will continue until March. But then he will be done, and that is what is important. He like his research a lot, so I am glad for that.
3.) We will be spending Christmas in Seattle with my dad and his new/old family (long, long story). I am really excited. Washington is gorgeous and dad is not getting any younger so it will be wonderful to spend 8 days with him. He and Donna (step-mom) have a lovely house on 6 acres of Washington rain forest. Should be relaxing.

Must remind myself to concentrate on the good things, and not the blinding pain and nausea.

My Religion

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
~The Dalai Lama

As an atheist I don't believe there is any better way to put how I feel about life. Leave it to a Buddhist to put it so beautifully.
I am sure I truly am a Buddhist, if I were to examine my ideals carefully, however I have chosen to let my ideals choose my philosophy and not let my religion choose my ideals.

Still Waiting

I have a CAT scan on Wednesday. The u/s revealed nothing except gallstones. Freaking gallstones, I am 23 years old. Thanks mom and dad for playing genetic Russian roulette...and losing. So anyway, the CAT should show something that will explain where all the pain is coming from.
Only a week left of my internship and Russia class. I hate to say it but I am really ready for the summer quarter to be over. I am in need of a break. Just wish we could take a vacation, but Adam's thesis work runs our lives. He is really enjoying working on his topic though, so that is a plus. His thesis is going to be on umm... I think vehicular routing problems, which is a computer programming thing though it sounds like something cops have to do for punishment.
Saw the Simpson's movie, pleasantly surprised by its quality and comedy.
Saw the Bourne Ultimatum and was unpleasantly disappointed by the complete lack of a plot, the experiment gone awry of the cameraman jostling the camera throughout the film. It was like the Punisher meets Blair Witch Project, uck. The hubby liked it, but that is because he is a boy. I hate pointless violence, and he tells me this is because I am a girl, he could be right. Or perhaps I just think killing people willy-nilly is not something that should be condoned.

I am really not as cynical and hateful as this post makes me sound! Or maybe I am...

Kitten

Last week Adam and I brought home a 4 month old kitten. I named her Maya (after Angelou). She is the most playful, sweet, curious little thing. Have not gotten a picture of her yet, but she is beautiful. Pure black, big green eyes, looong legs. We are super happy that we have her. Now we just want a house so she and the rabbits can have some more room to roam. Feel like we live in a zoo now. But they are all worth it.
Been busy with the internship and have now started Soviet Successor State class. Really fun, teacher is very British and lots of fun to listen to.
Have a Dr. appointment tomorrow to (again) check for endometriosis via ultrasound. Yippee. I'll update if I hear anything.

Quote of the day:
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men" Plato

Something I try to never forget, we have seen the punishment that ignorance and denial bring, let us never forget the lessons history has taught us.

Weird Al

Adam and I went to see Weird Al on Friday night. I really did not think I would like it but I ended up having a great time. He is an awesome entertainer. I have not laughed that hard in a looong time. I don't think that I will become a major fan of his but I would happily go to another one of his concerts.
The fun ended for me about 15 minutes before the concert was over when my lower abdomen felt like I had been shot repeatedly. We ended up going straight to the emergency room on base. There was nothing that they could really do so they gave me an IV of morphine and ran some blood tests, just to make sure I was not going to die right then and there. I also got a prescription for Vicadin, so that will get me through the weekend. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow so hopefully we will get the ball rolling on getting me better.