Diagnosis: Grin and Bear It

Well as most of you who read this know, I have not been the healthiest of people for several years now. I have been desperately searching for a reason that I feel so awful most of the time. I had hoped that my surgery in September of 2007 would help me, but alas that was not the case and since my nervous breakdown in October of last year (more on that on a day when I feel like getting into it) things have gotten worse, a lot worse. There have been more than a few days when I didn't see the point in going on. It's hard to admit that, being a proponent of living life to the fullest and all. So.... in summary I finally received a diagnosis last week. I have Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS). While having a name for what ails me was comforting, turns out the causes and cures for FMS are unknown and underfunded. Yay. They do know that it is most likely hereditary, and as my mom had Lupus it is no surprise that I was susceptible to it.
I am still learning about the condition myself but have found the Mayo Clinic's website helpful. There are a lot of symptoms associated with the illness and some people have all of them or just a few. These are the ones that I have (from the American Fibromyalgia Syndrome Association):Fatigue - This symptom can be mild in some fibromyalgia patients and yet incapacitating in others. The fatigue has been described as "brain fatigue" in which patients feel totally drained of energy. Many patients depict this situation by saying that they feel as though their arms and legs are tied to concrete blocks, making physical activity more difficult.
Sleep disorder - Most fibromyalgia patients have an associated sleep disorder called the alpha-EEG anomaly. This condition was uncovered in a sleep lab with the aid of a machine that recorded the brain waves of patients during sleep. Researchers found that the majority of fibromyalgia patients could fall asleep without much trouble, but their deep level (or stage 4) sleep was constantly interrupted by bursts of awake-like brain activity. Patients appeared to spend the night with one foot in sleep and the other one out of it.
Sleep lab tests may not be necessary to determine if you have disturbed sleep. If you wake up feeling as though you've just been run over by a Mack truck—what doctors refer to as unrefreshing sleep—it is reasonable for your physician to assume that you have a sleep disorder. Many fibromyalgia patients have been found to have other sleep disorders in addition to the alpha-EEG, such as sleep apnea (as well as the newly discovered form of interrupted breathing called upper airway resistance syndrome, or UARS), bruxism (teeth grinding), periodic limb movement during sleep (jerking of arms and legs), and restless legs syndrome (difficulty sitting still in the evenings).
Dyscognition (or fibro fog) - Patients may describe this brain fogged feeling in a variety of ways, such as difficulty concentrating, disorganized thinking, memory problems, and inability to stay focused or alert. Minor distractions may greatly impair cognitive functions in people with fibromyalgia.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome - Constipation, diarrhea, frequent abdominal pain, abdominal gas, and nausea represent symptoms frequently found in roughly 40 to 70% of fibromyalgia patients. Acid reflux or gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) also occurs with the same high frequency.
Chronic headaches - Recurrent migraine or tension-type headaches are seen in about 70% of fibromyalgia patients and can pose a major problem in coping for this patient group.
Add those to :Other Common Symptoms - Premenstrual syndrome and painful periods, chest pain, morning stiffness, numbness and tingling sensations, muscle twitching, irritable bladder, the feeling of swollen extremities, skin sensitivities, dry eyes and mouth, dizziness, and impaired coordination may occur. Fibromyalgia patients are often sensitive to odors, loud noises, bright lights, and sometimes even the medications they are prescribed.

So yeah, no barrel of monkeys. But I have decided that now that I know what is wrong with me, and that there is no quick fix. There are however, things that I can try to do to control the "flare ups". I am going to stick to my yoga routine, try to walk more often and stay away from environmental factors that have been known to cause flare ups, like chemicals,stress (HA!), and anxiety (again, HA!).
I have been put on a mild medication to help with my Generalized Anxiety Disorder so as to hopefully control more of the potential flare ups. I start my highly intensive training program on June 1st. Which will consist of 12 hour work days plus three plus hours a day of homework. So it will be flare up mine field this summer. However, I am determined to not let this get the better of me. I am choosing to try to stay as healthy as I possibly can so that I can follow my heart and fulfill my dreams. I just hope that I don't get in my way too much.