All I know is pain

I am anxiously awaiting my gallbladder surgery. I have called numerous times and no one will listen to me, I need it NOW. But I have to wait until Sept. 10th to have my consult with the surgeon. I am in so much pain. I have no idea how I am going to make it through this quarter. And to add icing to the cake of crap I have the Law School Admissions Test in less than a month. UGHHH. This is the most important test of my life and I will probably be crying in pain through most of it. If the surgeon will let me have the surgery the same week as the consult I am going to take it. I may miss a week of school but I should (emphasis on should) be recovered from it enough to sit through a 5 hour test. I don't understand why everything has to happen at the same time. I have had two weeks off of school when I could have been recovering but noooo. Military insurance is great in so many ways (like it is free) but bad in others (like everything must be done on their time schedule and not yours). The good news is I am using the hell out of the free emergency room. Had another visit there on Saturday. Begged an pleaded for surgery, nearly passing out from pain and still nothing. Sitting hurts, which is going to make classes a barrel of monkeys. I am very glad that school starts on Tuesday though, I need a distraction from myself.

Positive Things:

1.) Maya was spayed on Tuesday and is recovering beautifully. She wants so bad to run and jump but I have to stop her because she could tear her stitches. She is my little angel, I don't know what I would do without her comfort all of these hours I am alone.
2.) Adam finishes his last graduate class today. From here on out it is nothing but thesis work. Which means these 14 hour work days will continue until March. But then he will be done, and that is what is important. He like his research a lot, so I am glad for that.
3.) We will be spending Christmas in Seattle with my dad and his new/old family (long, long story). I am really excited. Washington is gorgeous and dad is not getting any younger so it will be wonderful to spend 8 days with him. He and Donna (step-mom) have a lovely house on 6 acres of Washington rain forest. Should be relaxing.

Must remind myself to concentrate on the good things, and not the blinding pain and nausea.

My Religion

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
~The Dalai Lama

As an atheist I don't believe there is any better way to put how I feel about life. Leave it to a Buddhist to put it so beautifully.
I am sure I truly am a Buddhist, if I were to examine my ideals carefully, however I have chosen to let my ideals choose my philosophy and not let my religion choose my ideals.

Still Waiting

I have a CAT scan on Wednesday. The u/s revealed nothing except gallstones. Freaking gallstones, I am 23 years old. Thanks mom and dad for playing genetic Russian roulette...and losing. So anyway, the CAT should show something that will explain where all the pain is coming from.
Only a week left of my internship and Russia class. I hate to say it but I am really ready for the summer quarter to be over. I am in need of a break. Just wish we could take a vacation, but Adam's thesis work runs our lives. He is really enjoying working on his topic though, so that is a plus. His thesis is going to be on umm... I think vehicular routing problems, which is a computer programming thing though it sounds like something cops have to do for punishment.
Saw the Simpson's movie, pleasantly surprised by its quality and comedy.
Saw the Bourne Ultimatum and was unpleasantly disappointed by the complete lack of a plot, the experiment gone awry of the cameraman jostling the camera throughout the film. It was like the Punisher meets Blair Witch Project, uck. The hubby liked it, but that is because he is a boy. I hate pointless violence, and he tells me this is because I am a girl, he could be right. Or perhaps I just think killing people willy-nilly is not something that should be condoned.

I am really not as cynical and hateful as this post makes me sound! Or maybe I am...