Musings of a Restless Mind

Diagnosis: Grin and Bear It

2009-05-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

Well as most of you who read this know, I have not been the healthiest of people for several years now. I have been desperately searching for a reason that I feel so awful most of the time. I had hoped that my surgery in September of 2007 would help me, but alas that was not the case and since my nervous breakdown in October of last year (more on that on a day when I feel like getting into it) things have gotten worse, a lot worse. There have been more than a few days when I didn't see the point in going on. It's hard to admit that, being a proponent of living life to the fullest and all. So.... in summary I finally received a diagnosis last week. I have Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS). While having a name for what ails me was comforting, turns out the causes and cures for FMS are unknown and underfunded. Yay. They do know that it is most likely hereditary, and as my mom had Lupus it is no surprise that I was susceptible to it.
I am still learning about the condition myself but have found the Mayo Clinic's website helpful. There are a lot of symptoms associated with the illness and some people have all of them or just a few. These are the ones that I have (from the American Fibromyalgia Syndrome Association):Fatigue - This symptom can be mild in some fibromyalgia patients and yet incapacitating in others. The fatigue has been described as "brain fatigue" in which patients feel totally drained of energy. Many patients depict this situation by saying that they feel as though their arms and legs are tied to concrete blocks, making physical activity more difficult.
Sleep disorder - Most fibromyalgia patients have an associated sleep disorder called the alpha-EEG anomaly. This condition was uncovered in a sleep lab with the aid of a machine that recorded the brain waves of patients during sleep. Researchers found that the majority of fibromyalgia patients could fall asleep without much trouble, but their deep level (or stage 4) sleep was constantly interrupted by bursts of awake-like brain activity. Patients appeared to spend the night with one foot in sleep and the other one out of it.
Sleep lab tests may not be necessary to determine if you have disturbed sleep. If you wake up feeling as though you've just been run over by a Mack truck—what doctors refer to as unrefreshing sleep—it is reasonable for your physician to assume that you have a sleep disorder. Many fibromyalgia patients have been found to have other sleep disorders in addition to the alpha-EEG, such as sleep apnea (as well as the newly discovered form of interrupted breathing called upper airway resistance syndrome, or UARS), bruxism (teeth grinding), periodic limb movement during sleep (jerking of arms and legs), and restless legs syndrome (difficulty sitting still in the evenings).
Dyscognition (or fibro fog) - Patients may describe this brain fogged feeling in a variety of ways, such as difficulty concentrating, disorganized thinking, memory problems, and inability to stay focused or alert. Minor distractions may greatly impair cognitive functions in people with fibromyalgia.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome - Constipation, diarrhea, frequent abdominal pain, abdominal gas, and nausea represent symptoms frequently found in roughly 40 to 70% of fibromyalgia patients. Acid reflux or gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) also occurs with the same high frequency.
Chronic headaches - Recurrent migraine or tension-type headaches are seen in about 70% of fibromyalgia patients and can pose a major problem in coping for this patient group.
Add those to :Other Common Symptoms - Premenstrual syndrome and painful periods, chest pain, morning stiffness, numbness and tingling sensations, muscle twitching, irritable bladder, the feeling of swollen extremities, skin sensitivities, dry eyes and mouth, dizziness, and impaired coordination may occur. Fibromyalgia patients are often sensitive to odors, loud noises, bright lights, and sometimes even the medications they are prescribed.

So yeah, no barrel of monkeys. But I have decided that now that I know what is wrong with me, and that there is no quick fix. There are however, things that I can try to do to control the "flare ups". I am going to stick to my yoga routine, try to walk more often and stay away from environmental factors that have been known to cause flare ups, like chemicals,stress (HA!), and anxiety (again, HA!).
I have been put on a mild medication to help with my Generalized Anxiety Disorder so as to hopefully control more of the potential flare ups. I start my highly intensive training program on June 1st. Which will consist of 12 hour work days plus three plus hours a day of homework. So it will be flare up mine field this summer. However, I am determined to not let this get the better of me. I am choosing to try to stay as healthy as I possibly can so that I can follow my heart and fulfill my dreams. I just hope that I don't get in my way too much.

Just another reason to let Bessy and Wilbur live

2009-04-08T14:23:00.000-07:00

This article is from The Week Magazine, April 10, 2009 v. 9 issue 407. "Red Meat Will Kill You"
"The more steak, burgers, and bacon you eat, the sooner you'll die, says a new study of more than 500,000 people. Researchers at the National Cancer Institute in Maryland compiled data on the intake of red and processed meats over a 10-year period, then cross-referenced data on deaths over the same decade. They found that both men and women who ate a lot of red meat and processed meats such as hot dogs and bacon were more than 30 percent more likely to die than people who rarely consumed these foods. "You eat a hot dog a week you're going to up, quite a bit, your risk of death in a 10-year period," epidemiologist Barry Popkin tells The Washington Post. Most of the premature deaths were the result of heart disease and cancer. Red meat contains high levels of saturated fat, which pushes up levels of bad cholesterol, and cooking red meat is known to produce carcinogenic compounds. Hot dogs, salami, and other processed meats contain enormous doses of salt and are preserved with nitrates, a known carcinogen. Health experts recommend that you eat red meat no more than once a week, and that you eliminate processed meats from your diet completely."

Finuhh

2009-03-25T14:16:00.000-07:00

I guess a year of ignoring my blog is long enough. I just don't think I have much to write about lately since I mostly sit on my butt waiting for June. But since it was requested I shall post the following information:

Sources of Vegetarian Protein:
Eggs
Beans (such as kidney, black, and pinto)
Tofu
Soy milk
Dairy products such as cheese, cottage cheese, milk, yogurt, etc.
numerous protein drinks and supplement options
quinoa
seeds (sunflower, pumpkin)
seaweed
nuts (almonds, cashews, peanuts and of course my personal favorite, peanut butter
some vegetables such as brussel sprouts and potatoes

For more information and a list of helpful sources of complete proteins please visit the veggietable (clever, huh?)

Happy Earth Day!!!

2008-04-22T16:28:00.000-07:00

Got this from Low Impact Living Blog, great site to begin with and a great article below:

Well it’s a magical day here on our planet– it’s Earth Day. We hope you are all planning to do some serious celebrating. Perhaps you are going for a hike– or even doing something outstanding like a beach clean up!

But we have to admit that here at Low Impact Living we’re a bit conflicted about Earth Day. It’s excellent that we all take this day to give praise to our planet, of course. But shouldn’t we all be living an “Earth Life”? We’d like to encourage all of us to move from celebrating one day on to embracing a year-around approach to living that gives Mother Nature a big high five of support.

To quote a popular election refrain these days, “Yes we can.” Here are seven things we hope you’ll agree are pretty easy to do on an on-going basis. If we can all integrate these seven simple steps into our “Earth Life” we will really be friends of our favorite planet.

1. Give up bottled water– for good. Drink from a glass at home, take your own reusable jug or bottle to the gym, and encourage your office to get a water filter or a water service. Americans throw out over 40 million plastic bottles each year and over 80% end up in landfills. If everyone on your block stopped using bottled water you could probably cut out 5000 bottles each year.

2. Buy green power from your utility. You can pay a few extra dollars each month and support power generation from renewable, clean sources like wind, water and biomass. Click here to learn more about programs in your area.

3. Eat meat (at least) one fewer day per week. Raising animals for meat (particularly beef) places an incredible strain on our natural resources. According to the Union of Concerned Scientists, one pound of red meat is responsible for 20 times the land use, five times the water use, and three times the greenhouse gas pollution compared with a portion of beans or pasta.

4. Take reusable bags to the grocery store. No more paper or plastic. Just good old canvas. The average American uses over 500 plastic shopping bags a year– but you are not an Average American!

5. Fly one time less each year. Plane travel is one of the greatest sources of carbon emissions (and global warming). Maybe you could drive or take a train to your destination. Or consider planning a vacation closer to home. To learn more about the impacts of flying, click here.

6. Buy less stuff. New products require the destruction of trees, the use of petroleum for plastics, shipping, packaging…our incessant chain of production and consumption chain is one of great threats to the sustainability of our planet. Can you use that sweater another year? Maybe you could swap some furniture items with a friend. Perhaps you can you get something on Craig’s List rather than at Toys-R-Us?

7. Make sure you are recycling as much as possible. You need to know your city’s rules. We’re amazed by the number of people in our city, Los Angeles, who don’t know they can recycle ALL types of plastic and styrofoam. You may be able to recycle more than you think!
http://www.lowimpactliving.com/blog/2008/04/21/celebrate-earth-day-embrace-earth-life/

I am a horrible person

2008-04-21T12:40:00.000-07:00

This has been a rough month for me and in order to get everything else done in my life the blog had been put on the back burner.
I promise the 10 days of health with come, just not sure when. Not to make excuses for myself but here is what I have been doing:
-My husband left me in Ohio all alone for AF training in Alabama. He has been gone 2 weeks and will be gone for another 4. This in itself has been VERY hard to deal with, and having the movers come 2 days after he gets back means that getting the house ready to go falls on me, as does everything else. ughhh.
-I have been "sick": having weird heart palpitations. I now have an ultra stylish heart monitor strapped to my side and itchy pads on my chest and have to push a button that makes the device screech like a banshee when I have an "episode". There is a whole mess of issues associated with the logistics of this little thing and I don't want to get into it, I will say that the phone company we use SUCKS!!
-I graduate in about 6 weeks, not sure if I have senioritis or what but I have been slacking majorily with course work, and now feel overwhelmed, which of course doesn't help my heart issues.
-On a plus side I have a wonderful new friend (yes, amazing as it is, Nicole made a friend, all by herself). Sad that I have to leave her after we have grown so close. I am watching her dog for a week while she is in Hawaii, and the cats hate the dog (which is a major understatement) but luckily he does not mind them (or want to make dinner of them).
-I have been chairing a number of panels at school, which are always at the ass crack of dawn, so I am sleepy and cranky the rest of the day.
-Relay for Life was this weekend, I managed to tough it out for 12 hours despite my heart freaking out for most of the night, and I got sunburned and bit by a spider... inside of my shoe... not sure how that happened exactly.

So there it is, my sorry excuses for letting my blog go to poo. I promise that when I start feeling normal again I will be more diligent. Until then, you will just have to wait on the edge of your seat for Nicole's next stimulating post. =)

For the Next 10 Days:

2008-03-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

This site will be dedicated to vegetarianism and an organic lifestyle!
I am reading the most fascinating book I have ever laid eyes on (which is saying a lot). It is called Harvest For Hope and was written by one of my personal heroes, Ms. Jane Goodall. Here are some quotes to get the 10 days of veg-o started!

"There are so many, many ways in which we are destroying the planet. And once we understand, once we care, then we have to do something." (xix)
"If we continue to allow the corporate world to control our food supply, we could devour or poison, within the next half century, all the food resources that sustain us." (xxiii)
"It is desperately imortant to cut back on the current greedy consumption of meat that is the norm for many around the world." (104)

Can a Beatle Be Wrong? I Think Not

2008-03-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

Update

2008-03-14T14:25:00.000-07:00

Adam finished his thesis and defense and turned in his final work for publication. He had a sweet blurb in his acknowledgement section about me. Kinda made me teary eyed =). His actual graduation ceremony is on the 27th. I will do my best to remember to bring the camera, boys in blues photograph well =).
We have rented a cabin the Hocking Hills state park for a few days next week. I am super excited. We are going to eat, play games, and hike. Basically enjoy our last bit of time together before Adam leaves me for ASBC (training in Alabama for 6 weeks).
I have one more final and winter quarter will be complete! Whoo! One more quarter and I will be a college graduate! yeah me!
I have now lost a total of 15.6 pounds and one pant size. I am super happy, and excited to lose the rest.

Cats are not big fans of the vet

2008-03-14T14:19:00.001-07:00

We took both Charlotte and Maya to the vet today. It was an adventure. Charlotte about clawed the assistant to death when she picked her up to trim her claws and weigh her. Then the hair started flying. I swear there was an inch on the floor of the exam room by the time we left. Maya was an angel, of course, but was still not a happy camper.
Both girls are now up to date on all of their shots and are healthy. Apparently Charlotte had ear mites from the shelter we got her from and gave them as a present to Maya. That was gross. The people we got her from lied to us, they SWORE she had just been checked for mites and just had some dirt in her ears. Filthy liars!! =) So now we get to put two drops of smelly yuck in both kitties' ears for 7-10 days. If you have a cat or have had a cat you know just how fun trying to put stuff in their ears can be. ughhh.
The vet also said they are both fit for the journey to Arizona and will most likely not require any type of tranquilizers. She gave us some good tips on what to do to make the journey easier for them. It is still going to be a nightmare but worth it to bring them with us!

Green Tip #4

2008-03-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

This one may not be a real simple one for most people, but I made the transition easily and haven't looked back. If you do it for the right reasons it can be very satisfying:

BE A VEGETARIAN!!

There are several sites for the many, many reasons to do this but here are a few of my favorite:
People:
If all Americans became vegetarian, it would free enough grain to feed 600,000,000 people (the population of India)
Land:
If they continue to clear American forests to raise cattle at the present rate, in 50 years there will be none left
Air:
The destruction of the rain forest by cattle farmers is destroying the lungs of the planet & reducing the worlds capacity to replenish our oxygen supply
Water:
25 gallons of water to produce 1lb of wheat & 2500 gallons to produce 1lb of meat
Health:
Vegetarians have a 20% lower rate of mortality from all causes (ie. they live longer & don't get sick as often)
Meat contains absolutely nothing - no proteins, vitamins or minerals - that the human body cannot obtain perfectly happily from a vegetarian diet.

(from: 101 Reasons to go Vegetarian)

The list goes on and on and on, here is another site if you are interested in more info.

Quote of the week

2008-03-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

To add to my endeavor to post a green tip every week I am also endeavoring to post a quote every week as well. I will post things that I think provoke thought, amusement, or simply alleviate my bordeom.
So here is the first quote, take from it what you will, I love it:

People in the West are always getting ready to live.
—Chinese Proverb

People

2008-03-11T14:54:00.000-07:00

I try hard to tolerate all sorts of people. I have no problem liking, respecting and even adoring people who are of different physical appearances, orientation, religion (well most of them... =)). But I have a really hard time liking people who have a pile of dog poop for personality. I can get past most anything except the following list, these people boil my blood and make me run for the hills:
-People who thrive on confrontation and making other people feel bad . I mean the type who go out of their way to see others cry, just because, with no provocation at all. I despise senseless confrontation, I can't for the life of me understand why it makes people feel good about themselves. (Note the "senseless" qualifier, sometimes confrontation is a great thing, but it absolutely should have a reason, any reason at really, not just "oh I think I am better than you so watch me hurt you")
-People who think they live on an island. I mean this metaphorically of course. These are people who think their behavior will in no way affect anyone else on the planet. I have news for you "islanders" EVERYTHING you do affects some other organism, be it human, ape, tree, crustacean, or even future living things. We live in an extremely interconnected ecosystem. Conscientious awareness is a spectacular thing, if you are not doing it, you should give it a try, it can make you understand the world better if you view it as an interconnected system. Once I realized this I became a much happier person, it makes everything you do have a purpose (that is if you choose to contribute in a positive way to the ecosystem, which can sometimes mean doing nothing at all). Being a part of something bigger than yourself is an awesome thing.
-People who practice violence as their ONLY means of portraying their thoughts, feelings or emotions. Hey, sometimes people need a nice kick in the ass when they are being stupid, but if punching someone in the mouth is the only way you can express yourself you are going to have some serious problems functioning on this little blue marble.

In the words of my very enlightened Uncle, "I like all kinds of people as long as they are good people".
Luckily I am one of those humanist types that thinks just about everyone can choose to be a good person (despite past transgressions). There are those who I don't have much hope for, but it is a very small number and I have yet to actually meet a person who fits this description, though I know they probably exist (i.e. Stalin, Hitler).

50 Days

2008-02-29T08:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday marked 50 days on Nutrisystem for me. I have hit a bit of a stall after the rapid weight loss in the beginning. I have lost 13.8 pounds total. The last 7 days I lost zero (but didn't gain!) and this morning I started to go down a bit again. I have not been faithful with my exercise because of school, but I have scheduled my classes for next quarter in such a way that I should have more time.
I spent four hours yesterday doing a total overhaul of my living room/dinning room/what used to be the bunny area. I got rid of a lot of furniture and thew away a bunch of junk, and put my "office" in the dining room where the bunnies used to be. It felt great to clean up and clear out and since I did all of the moving and heavy lifting on my own (shoulda taken pictures, it was a disaster area before) I am sure I burned a bunch of calories.
Still have not gotten orders from the AF. I bug my husband everyday to bug the people who issue them but alas, no orders. There is little I can do to prepare for the move without dates and orders. We are looking to rent a house in the Queen Creek area, I decided I needed to be wayyy out of town and away from the noisy, scary people in order to be happy in Phoenix. So I am going to take the free shuttle from the ASU east campus to the main everyday. The east campus just happens to be across the street from where Adam will be working.

Old news: I was too sad about it to share earlier but I think I made it clear from the previous statements that we no longer have Oreo and Fiona. We found them a great home with kids and a mom who loves them. Ever since we found out we would be moving to Phoenix we knew the girls would not be able to go. The 2,000 mile journey in the hot summer alone would most likely have killed them and the hot dry air of the desert would not have been healthy either. We miss them a lot but know that they are loved and being well cared for.

Scary Statistics

2008-02-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

I am studying for a test in my Environmental Law and Policy class tomorrow and read the following rather alarming statistics in my text book:
-Chronic diseases and conditions affect more than 100 million people in the United States alone (this includes things like cancer, asthma, Alzheimer's, endometriosis, infertility, multiple sclerosis, autism, Lupus, and Parkinson's disease).
-Nearly 12 million (17%) children in the U.S. alone suffer from one or more developmental disabilities.
-Breast cancer now affects more women worldwide than any other type of cancer with rates of occurrence increasing 50% over the last half century. In the 1940's the lifetime risk of breast cancer for a woman was 1 in 22, now it is 1 in 8 and rising.
"Environmental Issues", Thomas Easton, 12th ed.

Granted, one must factor in that the number of people on the planet has grown exponentially. Still, this scared me, I personally know people that suffer from M.S. (my Dad's brother died from it, my good friend's mother is currently suffering from it), a few family members have been lost to cancer, Adam's close friend is currently fighting it (he has an advanced form of testicular cancer, which has spread throughout his abdomen and is fighting for his life in the second cycle of chemotherapy as I type this), I have family members with autism, bi-polar disorder, Lupus, developmental disorders and have lost more than two people to Alzheimer's and dementia in the last 10 years alone (my grandmother just recently).
These statistics aren't just statistics to me, they are very real. These people are just some of the reasons I am interested in alleviating any environmental factors which may be causing these problems. Its why I get out of bed and go to school everyday, with the hope that I might contribute to helping the world (and those I love) in some small way in the future. Not a bad reason to get up in my opinion, well saving the world and coffee... ;). Hey, gotta keep a sense of humor about life or might just want to give up on it.

Favorite Books

2008-02-24T11:53:00.000-08:00

I liked this quote I read on Merc's site: "A man is known by the books he reads." — Ralph Waldo Emerson. I think it is very true. So I thought it fitting to list my top three favorite books (granted this is on a list a mile long, I am a nerd and proud of it).
1) Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn. This book is responsible for (to use my husband's term) "waking me up". I first read it in high school after a friend, who was more "awake" than I was at the time, allowed me to read his copy. I of course own my own copy now and have read it multiple times. I always turn to it when I feel I need a little motivation for my continued quest of saving the world. It is now sufficiently written in and dog-eared, the way all good books should be.
2) Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte. Not entirely sure why I love this book so much, but I do. It may be the classical, romantic (as in time period and style not mushy) elements, as well as the hints of feminism. This spot could be tied with Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. If you have not read it, you should. I would also recommend reading any cliff notes or study guides with it, as I read it for two different classes and believe you need to know all of the background of this great novel to get the full effect of it beauty.
3) Beyond Civilization, also by Daniel Quinn. Another book which is written in and dog-eared. Short read but well worth the time. May be necessary to read Ishmael first in order to grasp what he is getting at. I guess I should just say that I adore Daniel Quinn and everything he has written.
3)b) Again there is a tie here, with Jared Diamond's Collapse. I had the extreme pleasure of hearing Dr. Diamond speak last month and I certainly agree with the President of my university calling him "one of the greatest minds of our time".

Some day I shall make a full list of all the wonderful books I have read as well as categorizing my thoughts and feelings about them. By someday I mean before I turn 80, because that is when I assume I will stop taking college courses and will have some free time =).

Music

2008-02-24T11:41:00.000-08:00

I discovered a fabulous British artist named ADELE. So far she only has two singles released in the U.S. but I will definitely be one of the first to buy her full C.D. when it hits the States. I found her on itunes, as a free download and have listened to both of her songs 20 times.

John Mayer, one of my all-time favorite artists released a new single, SAY. You can listen to it for free at his website www.johnmayer.com. It is fabulous. Apparently it was on the movie "Bucket List" which I didn't see but have heard good things about. We saw John Mayer in concert last year and it was just amazing, he is a great performer and has immense talent. This new song can bring tears to your eyes and make you smile all within three minutes.

Helpless

2008-02-22T22:34:00.000-08:00

Watching someone you love hurt their body and refuse to seek help could possibly be one of the most difficult things to deal with. How do you convince someone that the way they are living... well they won't be living for long. The only word I can find for it is helpless. It is despair, sadness, pain, all with no relief in sight.

I'm not going to give up the fight. Other people have cast her aside but I won't do it. I don't want to live with regret, with "if I had only...". I know what it feels like to feel you have no one to turn to at your darkest hour, to have no comfort, to have no one there to help brush off the dust when you fall. I will be there for her, she deserves better than what life has handed to her. I will dig deep and find the strength within me that helped me pull myself out of the darkness. I just wish I knew what she needed, wish I didn't feel so helpless.

Green Tip #3

2008-02-21T08:42:00.001-08:00

Make a small investment in reusable shopping bags. These bags are fantastic, not only will you help to reduce waste and the use of virgin materials but your house will be neater without 50,000 plastic grocery sacks hanging around. =)
Here are some good sites for reusable bags:
www.envirosax.com
www.reusablebags.com
www.baggubag.com
* Also, some stores like Target are selling their own reusable shopping bags made from recycled materials and are usually around $1.00.

Interesting

2008-02-19T19:46:00.000-08:00

I took the Myers-Briggs personality test and thought the results were very interesting:
I am an INFJ, Introverted 67% (no surprise there), Intuitive 100% (shouldn't I be able to read people's minds or something?), Feeling, 50% (really thought it would be more), Judging 44%.

Detailed description: of a "Counselor"

The Portait of the Counselor (INFJ)
The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and enterprising and attentive in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.
Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.
Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them. This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others' feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.
Mohandas Gandhi, Sidney Poitier, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Goodall, Emily Bronte, Sir Alec Guiness, Carl Jung, Mary Baker Eddy, Queen Noor are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ).
Here is a second description:
Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.
INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.
"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.
* I take it as a very good sign that two people whom I have great respect for (Jane Goodall, Eleanor Roosevelt) and one whom I just about worship (Mohandas Gandhi) are the same type that I am. This was frighteningly exact of how I feel and apparently act, my husband actually said "you didn't know that about yourself?". Wow, what an amazing thing to read something that understands you so well. I think people should carry around a little card describing themselves, perhaps people wouldn't be so weirded out by me if they knew that my intentions were good =).
Here are my career prospects:
Literature/Writer, Humanities,Web Design (??) Philosophy, Archaeology, Social Service, Religious Education, Psychology/Counseling
*With the second description, "Public Service" I guess I am on the right track with environmental planning! Whoo, I made a smart choice!

How very awesome this info is. Thanks, Merc.

Green Tip # 2, Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T12:33:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day rivals Christmas for its wastefulness. Here are some tips to make your red day more green:

Fun Flowers
Valentine’s Day is the biggest event of the year for the floral industry, but unfortunately that can mean clouds of toxic pesticides sprayed upon fields far and near, harming waterways, soil and air quality and worker health. Luckily, a growing number of organically raised flowers are becoming available online, in health food stores and at better florists
Sweet, Sweet Chocolate
With its rich flavor and purported mood-enhancing ingredients, real chocolate is truly a divine treat. When you shop, aim for organic and fair trade brands (found at natural foods stores, online and now at major groceries), which ensure that tropical forests and workers receive important safeguards. You don’t want your bon bons to be responsible for loss of bonobo habitat.
Sparkling Jewelry
The good thing about jewelry is that it can last for generations; the bad thing is that it can result in strip-mined, toxic earth and poisoned workers. Buy vintage to cut out that impact, or shop from fair trade dealers, which ensure worker rights and protections.
Care-free Cards
The original and classic “I Love You” is the paper Valentine. So make yours out of recycled content! Not only is recycled paper widely available, but you can also get tree-free versions made from hemp, kenaf and other fibers. Beautiful cards are now preprinted on the greener material, or get crafty and make your own. E- Cards are always a great option too, especially for those long distance Valentine's.

Source: E-The Environmental Magazine

Just had to share

2008-02-08T12:41:00.000-08:00

Day 30 of Nutrisystem:
I bounded over the first hurtle in weight loss, the first 10 pounds!! I am now down 11.2!
Nutrisystem works, and works well if anyone out there is considering a weight loss program.

Newest Creation

2008-02-07T21:57:00.001-08:00

I made this shawl on Tuesday. I was sad and bored and created this:

And the blinded thing on the left is our newest family member, Charlotte Jane (as in Charlotte Bronte who wrote Jane Eyre, one of my absolute favorites). She is pure white and Maya is pure black, we like chess. hehe

Green Tip #1

2008-02-07T14:35:00.000-08:00

This is possibly the easiest tip of all:
Buy organic foods, clothing, make-up, cleaning supplies whenever possible. This requires no extra effort, just reach for the organic container instead of the other when shopping.

Organic is better for your body and it is better for the Earth because dangerous chemicals are not being released into groundwater or the atmosphere to keep little crawly things off your apples and such.

I recently found organic sheets (available at Target stores) and have since been sleeping MUCH more soundly without toxins leaching into my skin. I have psoriasis to begin with so my skin is already sensitive to contact with chemicals.

Greenie

2008-02-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

I had a lightbulb go off today. I realize that a lot of people ( I hope) want to live a more "green" lifestyle but are afraid to make a change, afraid to upset the balance of their life. Thus I vow to post a way to live greener in an easy, non-life altering way at least once a week. For those 4 of you who read my blog I hope that you consider taking a few steps towards living sustainably, or at least pass on the knowledge to someone else!! =)
Also, note for my bro: you asked where other people are hiding on the internet, my question is why are you hiding me? I noticed you posted links to everyone elses blog but mine on the family site. Are you afraid that I will offend someone?? Couldn't possibly be more offensive than a certain "marry-in" hehe, you know who you are. Just wondering, there is no need for a link, if people want to know about me they can ask, obviously no one is interested in my life. Me being the token heathen in the family and all. =) Probably best to not tell them where I am hiding, I want to continue to get invited to family functions...

Goodbye

2008-02-05T20:52:00.000-08:00

A very close of friend of mine's husband passed away this morning. I wish her comfort and peace during this difficult time.
Let us not forget our own mortality, live each day as if it could be your last. Follow your dreams and don't be afraid to strive to better yourself.

Goodbye Ed, I am thankful I knew you.

7 and Sears

2008-01-25T08:39:00.000-08:00

I am down 7 pounds (who-hoo!!) and I got a job at Sears, just part time to help get some of my student loans paid back, before I start racking up more that is.
I decided to get a second bachelors degree at ASU, I am going to study geological science. 8 Career tests can't be wrong can they? Thankfully I am currently taking a geology course and one day in class a light bulb went off and I thought " this stuff fascinates me, I can see myself doing this for a living". Geology is a booming career field right now and it is also very diverse. I am excited. I would go straight into a masters program but I don't have the background in earth science that they require.
We are now just waiting to see if we are still in fact going to Phoenix. Adam's orders were changed and he will be going to some training exercise thing for 6 weeks after he finishes his masters. Which means he misses his report date in Arizona. Hopefully they will just delay his report date, but hey its the Air Force they can mess with us all they want and we have to grin and bear it. Well maybe not grin but at least bear it! My fingers are crossed that we will still be going home.

Navy?

2008-01-15T12:20:00.000-08:00

OK all three of you who read this blog, lately there have been rumblings in my house about what Nicole (me...I certainly hope you know that...) should do after graduation. Law school has been thrown out the window, mostly because the idea just makes my skin crawl now. Law school would be fun, and I know I would be successful, but being a lawyer is a whole different ball game, one I don't wanna play.
So anyway.... these are some things that my hubby and I have been tossing around PLEASE give feedback; not having any friends here sucks because there is no one to talk to. Adam just says "do what makes you happy" well thanks hunny, but LOTS of things could potentially make me happy. So here is the list (not in any sort of order):
1.) Go to graduate school (application has been submitted, won't get a decision for a couple weeks at least). Which is a full time commitment, no job.
2) Go to polytechnic school part time to study Ecological Reconstruction and work part time (did I mention we need moo-lah?)
3) Go to ASU and study Ecology and Evolution, which will lead to a masters program eventually (unless I suck at it) part time and work part time
4) do any of the above three AND join the Navy Reserves (which would give me money and the freedom to keep going to school but is an eight year commitment, however I could go in as an officer and would want to work in intelligence, which is what my current BA has prepared me for).

So, please give some feedback! Thanks much!

5.2

2008-01-15T12:17:00.000-08:00

I have lost 5.2 pounds thus far. My pants already feel better and I already feel better because I know that the work is paying off. NutriSystem ROCKS!!!
Adam too a "before" picture of me last night, but I guess it will be a little off, since I have been on the diet for 7 days now. You can see my surgical scars in the photo too, gross. I am NOT posting the pic until I reach my goal weight because it is disgusting.

1 down, 29 to go

2008-01-11T11:29:00.000-08:00

I have lost my first pound! Whooo! There is such a feeling of triumph after stepping on that scale and seeing that you are indeed one pound lighter. This is since Tuesday, so I think what I am doing is working! The key to successful measurements: always weigh yourself at the same time everyday to minimize weight fluctuations that occur naturally throughout the day.

Adam and I start yoga class tomorrow!! SO excited!

Here I go again

2008-01-08T21:29:00.000-08:00

A week after my wedding in 2005 I came to the realization (quite abruptly) that I had gained nearly 30 pounds in just a few months. Lets just say I didn't look so hot in my wedding dress, and I have hidden all of my wedding pictures... Stress will do that to you I guess, you stuff your face without even realizing it. So.. I went to LA Weight Loss and started a program and ended up losing 26 pounds. Then we moved to Ohio and I kinda stopped doing it, I lost the support I had in AZ and I was always frantic with school and such. Long story short I have gained back half the weight I lost.
Soooo....
Tomorrow I am starting NurtiSystem. It is fantastic because for $300 a month someone else makes all my food for me (3 meals a day plus one dessert!!!) and all I have to do is open the package and viola! Even if I don't lose a pound this will be great since I ate an egg for breakfast and a bottle of cranberry juice for lunch today because I didn't have time to make anything else while running from class to class to library to do work to class again.
I am hoping to lose some major poundage and since my hubby is leaving me in a couple of months he won't be here to be a bad influence (skinny little pencil that he is, eats whatever the heck he wants...grrr...) I shall give the plan 6 months and hope to see some progress in that time.
Also will start exercising again, which I was doing diligently 5 or more times a week until the whole gallbladder fiasco took the energy and the will out of me. But by golly I will do it again!

Here is to wearing cuter jeans and feeling healthy again!!!

Fun with Plarn

2008-01-05T20:18:00.001-08:00

I began reading a great book, "Living Green". It has inspired me to once again crochet with plarn. What is plarn, you may be asking? Plarn is "yarn" made from plastic grocery bags. My first quest: a shopping bag crocheted with plarn. I am excited.
Things I plan to make with plarn:
-pot scrubbers
-grocery bag holders
-outdoor rug
I shall post pics when any of these are actually finished, but winter classes begin in 30 hours (not that I am counting or anything) so it is unlikely that they will be completed anytime soon.

I'm not gonna live forever

2008-01-05T20:05:00.000-08:00

So I have decided to pursue my dream now rather than later! I applied to ASU's Conservation Biology and Ecology program. My plan is this:
Upon arriving in Phoenix obtain a substitute teacher certificate (which requires a BA and fingerprint card; I will have my BA by then and have been fingerprinted in AZ before when teaching, easy enough to get) (Yes, I too am shocked at the ease of becoming a substitute teacher)
*The "why" of the above: We are buying our first house this spring and need two incomes, even if I only work part time. This will give me the time to:
Go to ASU and pursue the science degree that I so badly desire.
It should take me no more than two years to finish my second bachelor's degree since I have all of the gen eds completed and just need to do the specialization classes.
When I finish the BS I can pursue a Masters in whatever science field strikes my fancy, which may still be environmental planning but who knows? I may want to get a PhD in Ecology/Conservation Biology.
My husband likes this plan because, as I said, we need two incomes just in case we have to replace an A/C or something else unexpected.

I have my cousin Kristina to thank for the inspiration to follow my dream now rather than later. Who knows, I may not be alive later, already had one emergency surgery in the last 6 months.
So here is to following your dreams and how cliche is this but I am going to write it any way: carpe diem!

I should have switched majors

2008-01-01T19:11:00.000-08:00

a long time ago. If I could do it all over again I would have chosen environmental science. But since I am two quarters away from graduating I suppose it is a little late to change now. A political science degree is great for making you open your eyes to the world and to think critically. However, it also shoves in your face all the things "normal" people try to avoid, like politics, sensitive issues like abortion, gay marriage, environmental degradation and violence. It is such a depressing major. I am glad that the torture is almost over. Soon I will be in a graduate program where the focus is much more narrow and not so heart wrenching (I hope). Perhaps I will return to school and seek the elusive science degree after having a job for a few years and paying off all my loans.

It is official, I am now an anarchist, I give up on government, what good is it really doing us? Seriously. Sorry to all those I offend with this statement but: imagine how much less violence there would be without religion and without politics??? Ughh I shall never get my wish, I know.
For now I will join the U.S. Green Party, a party with all the right ideas but alas no one will listen because they will never win any major elections because the American public would rather choose a president based on what church he or she attends and how many times a week. I am now checking out for the rest of the campaign season, what happens happens, it couldn't possibly be any worse than Bush and the Puppet Master could it??? Could it.....?? How easy is it to get Canadian citizenship....

Pics of completed projects

2007-12-28T20:20:00.000-08:00

Wolves cross stitched, need matting and framing. Gift for my dad. Took 4 weeks of work, 6 hours per day (ughhh)

Crescent moon cross stitched by me and matted and framed by my dad. Gift for my sister Becca.

"Abbott" sign cross stitched for my half brother Carl who changed his name back to Abbott recently. Matted and framed by my dad.

Black, tan, and white afghan made for my Grandpa Abbott. Southwest 3-D motif.

Purple/gold reversible afghan made for my wonderful "other mother".

Home Sweet Home

2007-12-28T20:17:00.000-08:00

We are finally back from Seattle. Had a FANTASTIC time. Will post pictures later, and add details later. Am VERY tired, loooong way from here to there. Dad bought Adam and I am really nice digital camera for our anniversary and we took tons of pictures. Am working on posting those. In the mean time here are the pictures of the gifts I made for my Seattle family.

Anniversary

2007-12-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband. Two years!! Thank you for making it possible for me to become the person you knew I could be. Thank you for letting me be apart of your wonderful family. Thank you for being who you are, I wouldn't change a thing!
I love you.

Sorry we have to spend our anniversary in an airport...

Tooting my own horn

2007-12-16T14:06:00.000-08:00

My husband HATES when I talk to him about my grades, so I figure I can brag just a little on here.
I made the Dean's list for the 6th quarter in a row! Yeah me! OK I am done now.

I am an addict

2007-12-16T13:53:00.000-08:00

I am out of the denial stage and I will finally admit it... I am addicted to cross stitching and crocheting. They say you are not really "addicted" to something until it starts affecting other aspects of your life. My addiction IS affecting other aspects of my life. I make pretty things instead of cleaning my house or reading books that I want to finish before school starts again. I wonder if there is a group for this...
But to add to my addiction I am going to start posting pictures of my finished products online, for two reasons 1) I am just that nuts and 2) so I don't forget what I made.
So look forward to that little treat all three of you who read my blog!

Comment

2007-12-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

This was a comment I left on my cousin's blog regarding his worry about the glow in the dark cats in Korea:

Speaking as a political scientist, there is little to fear from Korea. The North can hardly feed its own people, the South relies on the trade of the Western World for its survival. I do not think glow in the dark cats is a sign of the end, but I do think it is cruel and horrendous to screw with nature in that way. There seems to be no logical purpose for creating animals such as these, I feel bad for the cats, not concerned for humanity. At least not because of this, I would be more concerned with our desire to destroy our environment if I were you. There will be no where for people to clone cats if the planet has run out of resources.

** There is a lot of scary, horrible things in the world, but I believe our efforts should be concentrated on sustainability rather than novelty cats. Shame on you scientists for wasting your time torturing felines instead of finding ways to save humanity from itself.

Idle Hands

2007-12-13T11:27:00.000-08:00

During an academic quarter I am the most diligent person I know. I get all of my reading done early and turn in all assignments on time. As soon as a break hits it's like I am a different person. A lazy person. I have so much extra time to get all sorts of stuff done around the house and yet here I am posting crap on a blog. What the heck is wrong with me? I leave on vacation in 6 days and my house is...well I suppose sty is the best way to put it. I have been cooking everyday, so i guess that is something. That is certainly not something I do during the quarter. Last night I made vegetable lasagna (from scratch!) and it was awesome. But as far as putting laundry away or sorting through the books I promised my husband I would sort through, no way. We have to be out of this apartment when Adam leaves on March 31, so I should really get my butt in gear. I can only take the essentials with me to the hotel where I will be living alone until I graduate. Ugh... Any tips for forcing yourself to do things you don't want to??

Yeah for Christmas!!

2007-12-10T23:14:00.001-08:00

With my views (or non-views) on religion being what they are, it may seem strange that I LOVE Christmas. I think the reason for this is two-fold: 1) Christmas is so very commercialized that it is no longer about Jesus' birthday and what not (which actually took place in July and not December, the Catholic church moved the celebration to December so as to try to win over the pagans during their celebration of the winter solstice, bit of trivia for you there). and 2) The "meaning" of Christmas to me is a time to be with family, to be kind to others, to appreciate the wonders of humanity... which I suppose are things we should be doing everyday, but isn't it a lot easier to do when surrounded by tinsel, lights, pretty things to eat and festive music?? I love this time of year, its the rest of winter that sucks... I suppose it will not be so bad when I get out of frigid Ohio.
So to my fellow non-believers: suck it up, Christmas doesn't belong to the Christians any more, and Christians, you are just going to have to accept that. Unless you want to tell retail stores they can no longer endorse "your" holiday.
I will be celebrating Christmas in the beautiful city of Seattle this year with my dad and his family. I have not seen may dad for almost two years and have not spent a Christmas with him in 6 years. Adam has never been to Seattle and I lived there for several years so I get to play tour guide. I am really excited.
To everyone:
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Winter Solstice, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year! May we ALL practice tolerance, or better yet, acceptance this holiday season.

Monday

2007-12-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

Mondays are not so bad when you don't have school... or a job to go to. This is only my second winter break since I became a full time student (meaning: not going to school and working 40 hours a week). I hate the feeling that I am not getting anything done. I have been making Christmas presents for a few weeks now and that has helped keep me active. I cross stitch and crochet like no body's business. I just wish my favorite hobbies involved some form of exercise. I feel like such a lump, at least when I am in school I have to walk two miles to and from classes and to and from the parking lot.

Some good news:
I finished my application for grad school, I just have to find one more professor willing to write me a letter of recommendation and get my transcripts sent to ASU. It is exciting to think that at this time next year I will be one semester into my master's work. Deciding not to go to law school was probably the second best decision I have ever made (the first would be marrying my husband). I feel excitement about the future and not dread, as I did when contemplating law school. I know I could have handled it mentally, but that gauntlet is not something I want to put myself through for a legal system that I no longer have faith in. The only thing in this world I have passion about is seeing the human race not extinguish itself before my niece is old and gray. We WILL NOT survive if we continue to live as the species of maximum harm on this planet. If you doubt that statement at all you seriously need to do some research. I am not just talking about global warming, I mean pollution, destruction of biomass, lack of clean drinking water and biodiversity. There is going to be a food war on this planet and the only way to slow it is by ceasing the planting of food crops on top of forest. Overpopulation is causing our biggest problems, but try telling that to a nation full of Catholics.
For further information on the information presented here please see the following books, or as I like to think of them, my personal sources of guidance:
1.) Beyond Civilization by Daniel Quinn (in my opinion the most important book ever written)
2.) Ismael, also by Daniel Quinn (may need to be read first in order to understand Beyond Civilization)
3) ANYTHING written by Jared Diamond; including: Collapse; Guns, Germs and Steel; and the one I am currently reading, The Third Chimpanzee.
I beg of anyone to read just one of these books (but all would be best), I guarantee it will change your way of thinking, and if doesn't, you weren't paying attention.

** I realize my posts make me seem like a bitter husk of a person, but I swear I am not, I love humanity and I love life, which is why I care about these things so much.

Old Lady

2007-11-25T17:42:00.000-08:00

I turn 24 tomorrow. I have no idea where the time went. It seems to me that from age 16 to 20 all I wanted to do was get older. I am ready to stop now, will someone please tell time that I am done getting older. Thanks for the ride, but I think I will hop off the linear timeline right here.
Well that didn't seem to work, so I must accept it, but I will still whine. On the plus side, Adam and I are going to Sima tomorrow, a fabulous sushi restaurant, to "celebrate" that I am one year closer to death.
***
Some random thoughts:

*It is weird not having anything to do, being out of school and not having a regular job... I feel useless on breaks. It is time for my nerdy-ness to kick in, I will start reading and outlining my textbooks for next quarter. I must be doing something right though, checked my grades yesterday, and I still have my 4.0, even after having surgery in week 2 of the quarter. Busting your ass pays off. Not really sure what I am working so hard for now that I am not applying for law school anymore. But I like the challenge of setting the bar so high, and I hope to get some scholarships for grad school.
*Adam is sick, came down with the dreaded "Arizona virus", I am almost over it, still a little congested but am on the mend.
*Speaking of Arizona, having a rough time finding an area I want to live in in Phoenix. I drove around down there for 5 hours and found about 3 blocks I would be ok with living in. Not very comforting. But we will manage, and it is not forever.
* * Addendum: the Thanksgiving food was amazing, I have never had a meal so decadent. The mushroom gravy made by my cousin was awesome. Thanksgiving can still be awesome without eating a bird... or any other strange looking land-based creatures. (p.s., I am proud to be a tree hugger) =)

Thanksgiving

2007-11-24T09:14:00.001-08:00

Time changes people. I learned this over Thanksgiving. I noticed more than anything that I have changed. I had a wonderful time with my family on Thanksgiving. I used to dread spending time with family, hated the feeling of being judged. But I learned that not everyone in my family is judgemental. I felt free to be myself and found that I had a lot more fun that way.
Thanks to my cousins for their hospitality. I feel I got to know people I have known for many years on a different level, and I love and appreciate those people that I have rediscovered.
OK, enough sap for one post.

Home Again, OR The Sweet Sound of Silence

2007-11-24T09:08:00.000-08:00

I have spent the last 10 days in my own personal hell. I agreed to watch my ten month old niece while her guardian was out of the country. I had not clue what I was getting myself into. I have never taken care of a child overnight (alone) in my life. The situation was not helped much by the fact that the baby came down with a double ear infection, and needless to say was not a happy camper.
I am home again now, and so very, very thankful for the experience, why? Because I no longer have to wonder if my husband and I made the right decision when we decided not to have children. WE DID. Sorry to our parents but Adam and Nicole are not doing the daddy and mommy thing. Being an aunt is fabulous, because I get to go home at the end of the day, I would not trade restful nights and silent mornings for anything.

A Personal PSA

2007-11-11T20:03:00.000-08:00

I was deeply disturbed by something I read on another person's blog. This person is a member of my family, and thus what I read concerned me even more. I felt compelled to research the following and "spread the word" (to use the phrase of those great folks at PBS):
FACTS:
1) Islam is NOT a religion of violence or hate. The groups who perpetuate such myths are those who are known as Islamic Fundamentalists and that is not the same thing as Islam. Like all classical religions some of the beliefs are antiquated, but the beauty of the religion is still relevant in today's modern world.
For more information please see "The truth about Islam in 600 words" at: http://www.religioustolerance.org/isl_truth.pdf
2) All religions have sects that are not true to the teachings of the religion that seek to pervert the good things about the faith in order to seek their own gain. For example: Christianity has some seriously frightening hate groups (if you do not believe me check out the Southern Poverty Law Center's website at: http://www.splcenter.org/intel/intpro.jsp

NOTE:By perpetuating the myth that Islam is a religion of terrorists and wife beaters we are perpetuating hate, something fundamentalists of any religion thrive on. I beg everyone to not fall into the trap of attacking a religion based on things that have no basis in truth. This will only cause our world to be more hate filled and hate only leads to violence and destruction (I am pretty sure Yoda may have said this too...).
You may be surprised that this is coming from an atheist, but know that I first began researching atheism because of how people have perpetuated falsities and corrupted beautiful ideologies. Again, please do not start slandering me unless you have some facts to back it up with. I will save you some time and clear up a couple of common misconceptions:
1)Atheist and "devil worshipper" are not analogous terms, we do not believe in a devil so how can we worship one?
2) This is a statement someone actually made to me, "You're an atheist?? But you're so... NICE!" Yes, morality can exist with out religion (I know, you are shocked). I believe in human respect, and a respect for all living things (which is also why I hold the political ideology of environmentalist (yes that is a REAL ideology as well). Any questions or comments about this are more than welcome.
Consider yourself informed, don't you feel better already?

Awesome Video

2007-11-11T19:47:00.000-08:00

I love Deaf culture (and yes, it is a culture). I have been signing for nearly seven years now. My older sister is hard of hearing and she is the reason I started learning the language and why I have continued taking courses in college. This video is from the Deaf Performing Artists website. It is extremely powerful and a good introduction for anyone who does not really understand what struggles Deaf people face, and have faced for thousands of years. We are all waiting on the world to change, and here is what Deaf people are waiting for:
http://www.d-pan.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=36&Itemid=45

Update, by special request

2007-11-09T13:17:00.000-08:00

The quarter is almost over (yeah!). I have been working my ass off trying to keep my 4.0 GPA. The surgery in the second week of the quarter really screwed me up. We shall see when grades come out in a couple of weeks if my efforts were successful.
I leave for Arizona on Tuesday to watch my niece while me mom is in Italy (soooo jealous). I am excited to see her and get to spend some time with her. Though starting in the spring I will get to spend a lot of time with her because:
WE ARE MOVING TO TEMPE!! I am so excited. I realized a few mornings ago when I walked outside and could literally feel my insides freezing that it was time to head home to the Southwest. I have already started the application process for ASU. I have decided to avoid law school altogether (perhaps someday soon I will feel like getting into all the details as to why I made that decision, now is not the time).
So I am applying for a masters program. I will be getting a Master of Urban and Environmental Planning, specializing in environmental planning. It is with the environment that my passion lies and so I am going to pursue my passion so that I have a reason to get out of bed every morning. My ultimate goal is to join the Peacecorps when Adam gets out of the Air Force and travel abroad and help the people of other countries learn to live sustainably. Perhaps someday America will be ready to accept the fact that its capitalistic ways have destroyed the planet, and some of that damage is irreversible. I am not going to wait to start fixing things until it is completely destroyed (thus, my reason for not being a republican, I don't want to let future generations have to deal with the problems I have created, did someone say deficit??) Sorry to any republicans who read this, wait no I'm not, its true and if you don't know that about your own party, perhaps it is time to get educated and if you are ok with letting future generations deal with your problems, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP HAVING CHILDREN JUST SO THEY CAN BE PUNISHED FOR YOUR MISTAKES!!!
Wow am I snippy today, I am going to go watch Seinfeld reruns and cheer myself up.

Happy Birthday Christopher!

2007-10-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to the best big brother in the world (seriously... I am not just blowing smoke, you are the best). =)
I love you!

Maya

2007-10-18T18:25:00.000-07:00

I realized that I had yet to put a picture of Maya on here. She is the best kitty in the world. I used to hate cats but this little thing has won me over. She is busy chasing flies around the house (have no idea how they keep getting in here...). Doesn't that face just say "love me"?

I'm going to prison

2007-10-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday Oct. 9th....
For a County Awareness of Prison Systems program. Its for school, I promise, and I hope they don't make me stay. The program sounds very interesting, we get to experience what life is like in a medium security prison, listen to presentations from lifers and be locked in solitary confinement. It is recommend for perspective law students who may be interested in a career in criminal law. Criminal law is on my list of interests, but we shall see how interested I will be in visiting clients after Tuesday.

Other than that,
Took the LSAT on Saturday. I did my best and what more could I ask for? I do not find out my score until Oct. 22nd. So I have a lot of anxious waiting to do until then.

I have a midterm tomorrow in Supreme Court so I should get back to studying. whoo.

Surgery Survivor Note: VERY long and VERY graphic, not for the faint of heart

2007-09-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

I should get a T-shirt.
I had my gallbladder removed on Sept. 11th (not a good thing for my apprehensions, especially since the procedure was on a military base...nothing happened (obviously).
So... I started the morning with blood work and x-rays, I was in pretty high spirits, mostly because I was REALLY done with being in pain. How naive I was, the pain was just beginning.
I woke up after the two and a half hour procedure in the recovery room. The first thing I remember was that I was coughing, apparently they had just pulled the tube out of my throat, but luckily I don't remember that part. The first thing I wanted to know was "how many holes are there?" I have no idea why this seemed like the most important question to ask at the time, but it was. The nurses in recovery were very kind. (There are four, if you are as curious as I was, one in the center of my abdomen, just under the breast bone, two more to the right of that one and one in my belly button).
I was wheeled into a room some time later (can't remember the transfer at all).
It was then that I wanted nothing more than to see my husband. He came in and had a hard time looking at me for a few minutes. I suppose it was difficult for him to see me in pain.
But seeing him made me feel much better. I was not in much pain at all, though my throat hurt pretty badly and I couldn't talk much. The inside of my mouth was torn up pretty badly from the breathing tube too.
Then my own personal hell began and did not end until four days ago.
It started with a nurse coming in and telling me I HAD to walk across the room and go to the restroom before I was allowed to go home. No problem right? OH HOLY HELL IT HURT. Sitting up was the 2nd closest thing to dying that I have ever experienced (this comes from a woman who has had kidney stones, twice). But I made it across the room and into the bathroom with minimal help.
I went home at 4pm.
There was nothing but intense pain and nausea from this point on. On Thursday (the 13th) I started having some issues... not to go into too much detail but, things were not exactly moving as they should have been through my system (truthfully, they were not moving at all). So it was back to the ER. We spent 12 hours in the ER, they did scans, blood work, poked me until I nearly punched a doctor in the face and finally decided that I had to be admitted to the hospital.
I was in so much pain as to be nearly delirious that the words "barium enema" did not even register in my bran. OK, now if you have not heard of this little procedure than you will have to research it on your own, needless to say it is highly, highly unpleasant, and that is for someone who did NOT just have abdominal surgery.
Now this experience was the most painful thing I have ever and hope will ever experience in my life. I screamed, cried, began hyperventilating and begged for mercy. I was forced to lay in my side where just two days earlier my very inflamed gallbladder had resided while being filled with gallons of unpleasantness. The memory alone is enough to make me want to vomit.
Well, bodily functions returned, some more unpleasantness as well, but I shall spare you that.
I was supposed to go home that evening, but I was very nauseated and in massive amounts of pain as well as being very dizzy. I ended up staying in the hospital until Sunday morning (the 16th). I hope to never again have to be in a hospital, it is as bad as people say it is.
So... lots of pain and an extended recovery followed. It is now 18 days later and I feel better than I have in months. My scars are a little icky but I earned them, and thus am proud.
Future:
The Law School Admissions Test is on Saturday. I am very, very nervous but so very happy that it will be over soon. My husband's friend (the rocket scientist) is taking the test with me (just for fun, and to show up his lawyer-wife). My entire future depends on my score (and no I am not exaggerating, just ask an attorney). So wish me luck!!

A Little Relief

2007-09-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

I have found a little relief from pain. YOGA! I was amazed that I could actually do the moves with as much pain as I am in. But within 25 minutes of finishing a half hour "workout" I felt tons better. I have now done three workouts in three days and feel amazing. OK, not amazing but better than I have for weeks, possibly months. I doubted the ability of the exercises to help, but I doubt no longer. So not only am I doing something that it great for my body I am also doing something great for my mind, relieving constant pain (which sounds like a benefit for the body but is really one for the mind, if you suffer from any chronic pain, you understand what I mean).
I have also started using something called the Miracle Ball Method. They are just these little squishy balls that you place under different parts of your body and they help to relieve pain and reshape muscles. I have only done it once but it helped a lot with the back pain that my inflamed gallbladder causes. I have to give credit to my mom for this one.
I highly recommend to anyone to try yoga or the Miracle Ball Method.
These treatments have not "cured" me but they have certainly made it so I can sit through a 2 hour class without crying or getting nauseated from pain.
I have my surgery consultation next Monday and will update when I know more.

First day of my senior year of college was successful! I am excited about the quarter. Not so excited about LSATs in 3 weeks but what can you do.

All I know is pain

2007-08-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

I am anxiously awaiting my gallbladder surgery. I have called numerous times and no one will listen to me, I need it NOW. But I have to wait until Sept. 10th to have my consult with the surgeon. I am in so much pain. I have no idea how I am going to make it through this quarter. And to add icing to the cake of crap I have the Law School Admissions Test in less than a month. UGHHH. This is the most important test of my life and I will probably be crying in pain through most of it. If the surgeon will let me have the surgery the same week as the consult I am going to take it. I may miss a week of school but I should (emphasis on should) be recovered from it enough to sit through a 5 hour test. I don't understand why everything has to happen at the same time. I have had two weeks off of school when I could have been recovering but noooo. Military insurance is great in so many ways (like it is free) but bad in others (like everything must be done on their time schedule and not yours). The good news is I am using the hell out of the free emergency room. Had another visit there on Saturday. Begged an pleaded for surgery, nearly passing out from pain and still nothing. Sitting hurts, which is going to make classes a barrel of monkeys. I am very glad that school starts on Tuesday though, I need a distraction from myself.

Positive Things:

1.) Maya was spayed on Tuesday and is recovering beautifully. She wants so bad to run and jump but I have to stop her because she could tear her stitches. She is my little angel, I don't know what I would do without her comfort all of these hours I am alone.
2.) Adam finishes his last graduate class today. From here on out it is nothing but thesis work. Which means these 14 hour work days will continue until March. But then he will be done, and that is what is important. He like his research a lot, so I am glad for that.
3.) We will be spending Christmas in Seattle with my dad and his new/old family (long, long story). I am really excited. Washington is gorgeous and dad is not getting any younger so it will be wonderful to spend 8 days with him. He and Donna (step-mom) have a lovely house on 6 acres of Washington rain forest. Should be relaxing.

Must remind myself to concentrate on the good things, and not the blinding pain and nausea.

My Religion

2007-08-13T15:30:00.000-07:00

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
~The Dalai Lama

As an atheist I don't believe there is any better way to put how I feel about life. Leave it to a Buddhist to put it so beautifully.
I am sure I truly am a Buddhist, if I were to examine my ideals carefully, however I have chosen to let my ideals choose my philosophy and not let my religion choose my ideals.

Still Waiting

2007-08-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

I have a CAT scan on Wednesday. The u/s revealed nothing except gallstones. Freaking gallstones, I am 23 years old. Thanks mom and dad for playing genetic Russian roulette...and losing. So anyway, the CAT should show something that will explain where all the pain is coming from.
Only a week left of my internship and Russia class. I hate to say it but I am really ready for the summer quarter to be over. I am in need of a break. Just wish we could take a vacation, but Adam's thesis work runs our lives. He is really enjoying working on his topic though, so that is a plus. His thesis is going to be on umm... I think vehicular routing problems, which is a computer programming thing though it sounds like something cops have to do for punishment.
Saw the Simpson's movie, pleasantly surprised by its quality and comedy.
Saw the Bourne Ultimatum and was unpleasantly disappointed by the complete lack of a plot, the experiment gone awry of the cameraman jostling the camera throughout the film. It was like the Punisher meets Blair Witch Project, uck. The hubby liked it, but that is because he is a boy. I hate pointless violence, and he tells me this is because I am a girl, he could be right. Or perhaps I just think killing people willy-nilly is not something that should be condoned.

I am really not as cynical and hateful as this post makes me sound! Or maybe I am...

Kitten

2007-07-25T11:59:00.000-07:00

Last week Adam and I brought home a 4 month old kitten. I named her Maya (after Angelou). She is the most playful, sweet, curious little thing. Have not gotten a picture of her yet, but she is beautiful. Pure black, big green eyes, looong legs. We are super happy that we have her. Now we just want a house so she and the rabbits can have some more room to roam. Feel like we live in a zoo now. But they are all worth it.
Been busy with the internship and have now started Soviet Successor State class. Really fun, teacher is very British and lots of fun to listen to.
Have a Dr. appointment tomorrow to (again) check for endometriosis via ultrasound. Yippee. I'll update if I hear anything.

Quote of the day:
"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men" Plato

Something I try to never forget, we have seen the punishment that ignorance and denial bring, let us never forget the lessons history has taught us.

Weird Al

2007-07-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

Adam and I went to see Weird Al on Friday night. I really did not think I would like it but I ended up having a great time. He is an awesome entertainer. I have not laughed that hard in a looong time. I don't think that I will become a major fan of his but I would happily go to another one of his concerts.
The fun ended for me about 15 minutes before the concert was over when my lower abdomen felt like I had been shot repeatedly. We ended up going straight to the emergency room on base. There was nothing that they could really do so they gave me an IV of morphine and ran some blood tests, just to make sure I was not going to die right then and there. I also got a prescription for Vicadin, so that will get me through the weekend. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow so hopefully we will get the ball rolling on getting me better.

Ouch

2007-06-29T10:43:00.001-07:00

Well I have a brand new diagnosis for my constant pain. Endometriosis. I had never hear of it but the doc is certainly thinking this may be what is causing my pain, headaches, bladder and kidney problems, and the mess of other things wrong with me. Endometriosis is when uterine cells find themselves outside of the uterus and begin growing all over the body, they follow menstrual cycles and break down a little and bleed, but unlike when the growths are in the uterus they have no where to bleed out of, thus causing internal bleeding, organ inflammation, and intense pain. Not to mention many, many other things. (If you are interested in reading more about it see www.endocenter.org). I have to have surgery for a positive diagnosis, but I do have an ultrasound on the 18th to see (if it is this) just how much growth there is and if they will be able to remove it during a laproscopy surgery. So in sum, I am hurting more intensely than ever before, but am finally getting some answers. Thank Congress for free military health care, I am certainly going to need it. I will give updates as I learn more. Wish me luck!

Maroon 5

2007-06-18T14:59:00.001-07:00

Got the new Maroon 5 CD off iTunes, LOVE IT. Fun to listen to on my commute downtown, where I have to pay $7 per day to park my car, to work for free at the internship. So that kinda puts a damper on the excitement over the CD....

Tired

2007-06-18T14:46:00.000-07:00

Ended up going to Virginia, had lots of fun, but man was that a long drive (went all alone). My niece is unbelievably gorgeous. I wanted to steal her. And I am a terrible person and managed to take only one photograph.
Got my hair cut and dyed today, I look human again. I am diggin' the dark brown dye and the short bob, textured, flip, thingy... not sure how else to describe it.
Started my internship last week. I have learned so much in one week that it is a little astonishing, wondering what the heck I have been learning about for the last 4 years of college?
The staff attorney that I work with is awesome, she has been barred for less than a year, so it is nice to work with someone close to my age. I have only met the judge once but have read lots of his decisions, seems like a level-headed guy. I am really looking forward to the rest of the summer there. Though it is hard to get up early 5 days a week. I don't start any new classes until July 16th or so, so no homework is awesome!
We bought a new couch this weekend, but smooth us rented a U-haul to take the old one to Goodwill on Saturday and our new one is not getting delivered until Thursday. So it is camp chairs for us! Luckily getting the old couch out of the house gave us a reason to do some serious spring cleaning and now the house looks MUCH better. So that is a load of stress off. Two people in school full time one working on their masters = cluttered house. Should have seen that coming. The rabbits are certainly no help in that matter.
Reading: A People's History of the Supreme Court, excellent book, in preparation for my Supreme Court class this fall. Will probably spend most of the summer reading it, as it is rather lengthy.

Whooo for medicine

2007-06-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

As assumed, I do in fact have another urinary tract infection, ouch. Second one in six months. Apparently some women are physiologically more susceptible to them than others. I am one of those lucky ones.
One the plus side, got a wonderful new doctor, who took an interest in me and my health, amazing that there are doctors like that huh? And a military doctor at that. You go free Air Force insurance!

Still debating whether or not to drive to Virginia on Saturday to see my mom. Not feeling too good about going since it is a seven hour drive and I start my internship on Monday and would like to be fully alert for my first day.

Reading: "Darkness at Dawn: Rise of the Russian Criminal State" as preperation for my Soviet Successor States class this summer. Really good book, sickening what greed does to people however.

Waiting

2007-06-05T20:45:00.000-07:00

Sittin', waitin'. I have no homework.... what a strangely relaxing feeling. I don't like it.
I feel useless, like I am wasting precious "awake time". Stupid college, what have you done to me? arghhh.
I have a doctors appointment at the lovely base hospital tomorrow, get to pee in a cup, boy am I excited.
Have a dentist appointment on Thursday, get to have some more teeth drilled. Not having dental insurance for 8 years can really do some damage to your oral health, who woulda thunk it? On the plus side I get nitrous, and that is always a pleasure.
I start my internship at the courthouse for the judge on Monday, pretty nervous, but excited.
And thus this is why I am sitting, and waiting, have nothing pressing to do until tomorrow.

First Blog, Ever!

2007-06-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, first blog...ever. What is it exactly that you say that you would not mind the whole world seeing? Oh well, judge all you want world.
I hate Sundays. There is always the regret that you did not do something really exciting on Saturday and the dread that you must return to work, school, etc. tomorrow. Luckily I do not have work, or school tomorrow. Just two four page papers for my Chinese Politics final and two, two page papers for Sign Language. Have not started on either. Not too worried though, hoping that tomorrow or later today I actually feel like writing them.
I think I will start a list of all the books that I read, which will grow massive over the summer but be slim after Fall classes start again. Speaking of, just wanted to express how very excited I am that only have 4 more quarters of school left (including summer). So very,very, ready to start law school. So tired of silly young college kids and their silly ways.
Well I suppose that is enough for one post. Watch out world, Nicole is blogging! Prepare yourself!

Bunny Zen

2007-06-03T08:07:00.001-07:00

Ever the proud parent, the first picture must be of my "babies". They are stuck up, destructive little things, but I love them.

Summer Book 1

2007-06-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

Finished reading "Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imangination" by Helen Fielding. I enjoyed it. Not one of my favorites, I still prefer non-fiction. But would reccommend it to anyone who likes a mystery/mild thriller, but doesn't want to be scared, or think too much. I enjoy the thinking part, thus not one of my favorites.